I’m sure many of you have seen this before, but I still love it…
Just because we’re used to it doesn’t mean we like it.
COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. . .
60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.
50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.
40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down.
*Cross-country runners think about wearing more than shorts (and maybe a t-shirt). This is true. We only begin to don long sleeves once we get to the low 40s, occasionally the 30s.
32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Lake Michigan gets thicker.
20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.
People in Miami all die.
Michiganders close the windows.
10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Michigan get out their winter coats. *This is also very true. This morning, it was -10 when I left. I finally resigned and grabbed my white puffer-type coat which, despite being highly un-chic, is functional and warm and hey, everyone else in the school has one too. We are united in our ridiculous-looking-ness.
25 below zero:
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Michigan let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get upset because they can’t start the Mini-Van.
460 (-459.67 F below zero):
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero, zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Michigan start saying…”Cold ‘nough fer ya?”
500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Michigan public schools will open 2 hours late.*
*This is very, very, very true. For example: tomorrow morning when I wake up for school, it will be approximately -14 degrees. This is not OK.
We will all be going to school for exams anyway. It doesn’t help that administration seems to think that it’s a good idea to turn to A/C on in the winter.